A: Good for you for breaking the chain of abuse. I know if the walls could talk they’d say, “Ouch,” but you have addressed your family legacy of dealing with frustration physically. You’re right that a baby, especially a fussy one, can test the patience of the most serene parents. It’s great that you recognize when you are starting to feel overwhelmed and you remove yourself from your baby. But there is something rather desperate about literally pounding the walls. I wonder if you couldn’t channel your frustration in more physically productive ways. Get a jump rope, some hand weights, and when you have to step away from the baby give yourself an exercise break. If you are alone with her most days, you , like any new parent, need a break. Hire a regular babysitter and go do something that gives you pleasure—seeing a friend, taking a walk, reading a book, going to a movie. Make sure you and your spouse are getting a chance to go out and reconnect with each other. If you’ve stopped therapy, now would be a good time for a tune-up. Major life changes have a way of bringing back to the surface old pain. Speaking of which, I hope in the course of your therapy you’ve been able to address what you did to your brother, and that you apologized to him. Acknowledging your wrongs would be healing for both of you.